[Jessica]

All I have gathered from Michael so far is that he used me the entire game and nothing we talked about or the relationship we had was real. I expected it from Matt but it really fucking hurts that Michael just didn’t care. I may have been delusional about what was going on, but I was real about the relationships I made during that game. Allie, Hope, Alexis, Shamar, and Sherri are all people I adore and can’t wait to have a friendship with after the game. Michael would by on that list too but not after hearing, in depth, how he was only using me.

[Hope]

@Hope, re: Michael's response to me, why were you and Matt talking shit about people after they were already voted out? I don't understand why that was necessary.

I don't even remember saying anything bad about Michael apart from how he was getting cocky and I felt like I couldn't trust him, and all of that was built on things other people had filled my ear with, in addition to some of the things Michael was saying directly to me, which I talk about in my confessional.

I just feel awful that I apparently said things that made him feel that bad? I don't recall any of this.

His answer feels very genuine and makes me feel a lot worse about Matt, actually.

I think what I've been trying to say since I've been here is that I felt Matt was doing that, I didn't "stand up" to it because I wasn't trying to make a scene or anything, but I tried not to go along with it. And Alexis, my conversation with Mike when you left, I asked Mike if we could both share what you had thought of the other person, because I always considered you the glue to me and Mike, and I thought it'd genuinely benefit both of us knowing how you felt as a Jury member. Which when I shared with Mike that the things you said about him to me had to do with being overall paranoid about him, and he told me that you had said you underestimated my game. If that's shit talking, guess I'm a shit talker. Nothing personal was said there though?

[Alexis]

All I have gathered from Michael so far is that he used me the entire game and nothing we talked about or the relationship we had was real. I expected it from Matt but it really fucking hurts that Michael just didn’t care. I may have been delusional about what was going on, but I was real about the relationships I made during that game. Allie, Hope, Alexis, Shamar, and Sherri are all people I adore and can’t wait to have a friendship with after the game. Michael would by on that list too but not after hearing, in depth, how he was only using me.

I know exactly how you're feeling, because it's how I feel about Matt right now, and actually how I felt about you after I was voted out.

If it helps, I do think Michael is a genuine person and does like you a lot. With me, he always seemed to want to stay true to you despite MAJOR frustrations, which I think a lot of people had, but never did I feel like his relationship with you was fake. I don't think any of it had to do with you as a person. If anything, I kinda saw your relationship as two siblings.

[Alexis]

@Hope, re: Michael's response to me, why were you and Matt talking shit about people after they were already voted out? I don't understand why that was necessary.

I don't even remember saying anything bad about Michael apart from how he was getting cocky and I felt like I couldn't trust him, and all of that was built on things other people had filled my ear with, in addition to some of the things Michael was saying directly to me, which I talk about in my confessional.

I just feel awful that I apparently said things that made him feel that bad? I don't recall any of this.

His answer feels very genuine and makes me feel a lot worse about Matt, actually.

I think what I've been trying to say since I've been here is that I felt Matt was doing that, I didn't "stand up" to it because I wasn't trying to make a scene or anything, but I tried not to go along with it. And Alexis, my conversation with Mike when you left, I asked Mike if we could both share what you had thought of the other person, because I always considered you the glue to me and Mike, and I thought it'd genuinely benefit both of us knowing how you felt as a Jury member. Which when I shared with Mike that the things you said about him to me had to do with being overall paranoid about him, and he told me that you had said you underestimated my game. If that's shit talking, guess I'm a shit talker. Nothing personal was said there though?

Nah this adds up and is what I figured happen-- thanks for elaborating on it. "Shit talking" was for sure too strong a word choice lol. But it is interesting he mentioned all of this, because it adds up with what you've said about Matt since you got here. I think I respect him a lot less than I did a few hours ago lol.

[Alexis]

"him" being Matt, not Michael.

[Alexis]

And Michael and I both said we underestimated you. I remember us having a conversation about what a surprise you had been to both of us, and I talked about it in my confessional at one point too.

[Hope]

@Hope, re: Michael's response to me, why were you and Matt talking shit about people after they were already voted out? I don't understand why that was necessary.

I don't even remember saying anything bad about Michael apart from how he was getting cocky and I felt like I couldn't trust him, and all of that was built on things other people had filled my ear with, in addition to some of the things Michael was saying directly to me, which I talk about in my confessional.

I just feel awful that I apparently said things that made him feel that bad? I don't recall any of this.

His answer feels very genuine and makes me feel a lot worse about Matt, actually.

I think what I've been trying to say since I've been here is that I felt Matt was doing that, I didn't "stand up" to it because I wasn't trying to make a scene or anything, but I tried not to go along with it. And Alexis, my conversation with Mike when you left, I asked Mike if we could both share what you had thought of the other person, because I always considered you the glue to me and Mike, and I thought it'd genuinely benefit both of us knowing how you felt as a Jury member. Which when I shared with Mike that the things you said about him to me had to do with being overall paranoid about him, and he told me that you had said you underestimated my game. If that's shit talking, guess I'm a shit talker. Nothing personal was said there though?

Nah this adds up and is what I figured happen-- thanks for elaborating on it. "Shit talking" was for sure too strong a word choice lol. But it is interesting he mentioned all of this, because it adds up with what you've said about Matt since you got here. I think I respect him a lot less than I did a few hours ago lol.

I mean, I definitely didn't word it like "lets expand on Alexis's opinions of us for jury intel" because I didn't want it to be obvious I was doing that, I did say "lets say what Alexis thought of us" which I then said what I said about you being paranoid of him at times. I just wanted to know if you had ever considered me a good player while in the game and if I was gonna get your jury vote. I thought Mike could give me that answer. No shit talking. I kinda think Mike is taking things a bit personal saying "I was so sad i found this out" etc just because I mean it's a game and we're allowed to feel a bit paranoid towards one another? I mean seriously it shouldnt be the biggest deal in the world finding out you didn't trust him 100% the whole game? IDK, a lot of Mike's speeches and maybe now answers (literally only read that one since I just logged on) seem like to be taking things really personal for a dude who played a bit snakey.

[Jessica]

All I have gathered from Michael so far is that he used me the entire game and nothing we talked about or the relationship we had was real. I expected it from Matt but it really fucking hurts that Michael just didn’t care. I may have been delusional about what was going on, but I was real about the relationships I made during that game. Allie, Hope, Alexis, Shamar, and Sherri are all people I adore and can’t wait to have a friendship with after the game. Michael would by on that list too but not after hearing, in depth, how he was only using me.

I know exactly how you're feeling, because it's how I feel about Matt right now, and actually how I felt about you after I was voted out.

If it helps, I do think Michael is a genuine person and does like you a lot. With me, he always seemed to want to stay true to you despite MAJOR frustrations, which I think a lot of people had, but never did I feel like his relationship with you was fake. I don't think any of it had to do with you as a person. If anything, I kinda saw your relationship as two siblings.

I loved him as a friend. But nothing he has said in the past 24 hours has shown that he saw me as anything other than a piece for his game. Maybe that’s my fault for getting too emotionally invested in these games.

[Hope]

I'm just so confused at this emotion and closeness everyone feels with Mike, I feel like all me and him ever did was joke around lol it wasn't anything too serious but like the love was still there and we'd talk about life at times too, but overall this like tugging at people's heart stuff feels so weird to me lol

[Alexis]

I think what I've been trying to say since I've been here is that I felt Matt was doing that, I didn't "stand up" to it because I wasn't trying to make a scene or anything, but I tried not to go along with it. And Alexis, my conversation with Mike when you left, I asked Mike if we could both share what you had thought of the other person, because I always considered you the glue to me and Mike, and I thought it'd genuinely benefit both of us knowing how you felt as a Jury member. Which when I shared with Mike that the things you said about him to me had to do with being overall paranoid about him, and he told me that you had said you underestimated my game. If that's shit talking, guess I'm a shit talker. Nothing personal was said there though?

Nah this adds up and is what I figured happen-- thanks for elaborating on it. "Shit talking" was for sure too strong a word choice lol. But it is interesting he mentioned all of this, because it adds up with what you've said about Matt since you got here. I think I respect him a lot less than I did a few hours ago lol.

I mean, I definitely didn't word it like "lets expand on Alexis's opinions of us for jury intel" because I didn't want it to be obvious I was doing that, I did say "lets say what Alexis thought of us" which I then said what I said about you being paranoid of him at times. I just wanted to know if you had ever considered me a good player while in the game and if I was gonna get your jury vote. I thought Mike could give me that answer. No shit talking. I kinda think Mike is taking things a bit personal saying "I was so sad i found this out" etc just because I mean it's a game and we're allowed to feel a bit paranoid towards one another? I mean seriously it shouldnt be the biggest deal in the world finding out you didn't trust him 100% the whole game? IDK, a lot of Mike's speeches and maybe now answers (literally only read that one since I just logged on) seem like to be taking things really personal for a dude who played a bit snakey.

This post is extremely validating in a lot of ways, so thank you. I'm feeling like I was kinda shitty to him, and I don't know if I'm necessarily being fair to myself in thinking that.

[Jessica]

I'm just so confused at this emotion and closeness everyone feels with Mike, I feel like all me and him ever did was joke around lol it wasn't anything too serious but like the love was still there and we'd talk about life at times too, but overall this like tugging at people's heart stuff feels so weird to me lol

He was my partner. We talked every day from F22 on. He knew a lot about me from listening to the Tanz podcast and when he said he paid to be my partner, it helped to breakdown my walls. I trusted him and we had a really good friendship, or so I thought. It just hurts that it was genuine on my side but everything he is saying makes it seem like it was never genuine in his side.

[Hope]

Nah this adds up and is what I figured happen-- thanks for elaborating on it. "Shit talking" was for sure too strong a word choice lol. But it is interesting he mentioned all of this, because it adds up with what you've said about Matt since you got here. I think I respect him a lot less than I did a few hours ago lol.

I mean, I definitely didn't word it like "lets expand on Alexis's opinions of us for jury intel" because I didn't want it to be obvious I was doing that, I did say "lets say what Alexis thought of us" which I then said what I said about you being paranoid of him at times. I just wanted to know if you had ever considered me a good player while in the game and if I was gonna get your jury vote. I thought Mike could give me that answer. No shit talking. I kinda think Mike is taking things a bit personal saying "I was so sad i found this out" etc just because I mean it's a game and we're allowed to feel a bit paranoid towards one another? I mean seriously it shouldnt be the biggest deal in the world finding out you didn't trust him 100% the whole game? IDK, a lot of Mike's speeches and maybe now answers (literally only read that one since I just logged on) seem like to be taking things really personal for a dude who played a bit snakey.

This post is extremely validating in a lot of ways, so thank you. I'm feeling like I was kinda shitty to him, and I don't know if I'm necessarily being fair to myself in thinking that.

Yes, you really shouldn't feel bad. I mean, I have no clue what Matt could have told him that you said, but the things I said to Mike that you thought about him really were not bad at all, it was nothing for him to be offended about, it was all strictly game stuff. He needs to relax and take a chill pill. I feel he has this holier than thou attitude especially since his opening speech is about being such good friends with Jess, yet he was like ALWAYS shit talking her, and yes personal shit talking, to everyone. So he can sit down!

[Jessica]

All I have gathered from Michael so far is that he used me the entire game and nothing we talked about or the relationship we had was real. I expected it from Matt but it really fucking hurts that Michael just didn’t care. I may have been delusional about what was going on, but I was real about the relationships I made during that game. Allie, Hope, Alexis, Shamar, and Sherri are all people I adore and can’t wait to have a friendship with after the game. Michael would by on that list too but not after hearing, in depth, how he was only using me.

I know exactly how you're feeling, because it's how I feel about Matt right now, and actually how I felt about you after I was voted out.

If it helps, I do think Michael is a genuine person and does like you a lot. With me, he always seemed to want to stay true to you despite MAJOR frustrations, which I think a lot of people had, but never did I feel like his relationship with you was fake. I don't think any of it had to do with you as a person. If anything, I kinda saw your relationship as two siblings.

I also wanted to really apologize to you. I should have handled your vote better. It was unfair for me to lie to you all day. I did see you as a friend and a trusting ally but I also saw you at the biggest threat to win the game. It was an internal debate that ultimately ended with me lying to you and turning on you. You did t deserve that and I’m sorry.

[Hope]

Maybe Mike took it as worse than it was because I was trying to do this in such a inconspicuous memey way that I said "lets say to each other what alexis thought of the other, it would be funny" and i said itd be funny because i just felt it honestly would be the most chill way that I could go about this conversation without being a sus-ball looking for jury intel.

[Alexis]

All I have gathered from Michael so far is that he used me the entire game and nothing we talked about or the relationship we had was real. I expected it from Matt but it really fucking hurts that Michael just didn’t care. I may have been delusional about what was going on, but I was real about the relationships I made during that game. Allie, Hope, Alexis, Shamar, and Sherri are all people I adore and can’t wait to have a friendship with after the game. Michael would by on that list too but not after hearing, in depth, how he was only using me.

I know exactly how you're feeling, because it's how I feel about Matt right now, and actually how I felt about you after I was voted out.

If it helps, I do think Michael is a genuine person and does like you a lot. With me, he always seemed to want to stay true to you despite MAJOR frustrations, which I think a lot of people had, but never did I feel like his relationship with you was fake. I don't think any of it had to do with you as a person. If anything, I kinda saw your relationship as two siblings.

I also wanted to really apologize to you. I should have handled your vote better. It was unfair for me to lie to you all day. I did see you as a friend and a trusting ally but I also saw you at the biggest threat to win the game. It was an internal debate that ultimately ended with me lying to you and turning on you. You did t deserve that and I’m sorry.

I appreciate that. I think I just didn't understand why you had previously said that stuff about how you never saw Michael and me ever voting for you, and you were committed to us, and at F5 you would give me your necklace if you won immunity, etc. It was all just too much for someone who could turn around and flip on me on a dime, while spending a whole day asking me if we were ok and talking about our friendship. It just felt like it went beyond the game and was unnecessary, so that's why I've been salty. I reeeeally try not to take things personally when I play these, but sometimes people make it so.

[Jessica]

I know exactly how you're feeling, because it's how I feel about Matt right now, and actually how I felt about you after I was voted out.

If it helps, I do think Michael is a genuine person and does like you a lot. With me, he always seemed to want to stay true to you despite MAJOR frustrations, which I think a lot of people had, but never did I feel like his relationship with you was fake. I don't think any of it had to do with you as a person. If anything, I kinda saw your relationship as two siblings.

I also wanted to really apologize to you. I should have handled your vote better. It was unfair for me to lie to you all day. I did see you as a friend and a trusting ally but I also saw you at the biggest threat to win the game. It was an internal debate that ultimately ended with me lying to you and turning on you. You did t deserve that and I’m sorry.

I appreciate that. I think I just didn't understand why you had previously said that stuff about how you never saw Michael and me ever voting for you, and you were committed to us, and at F5 you would give me your necklace if you won immunity, etc. It was all just too much for someone who could turn around and flip on me on a dime, while spending a whole day asking me if we were ok and talking about our friendship. It just felt like it went beyond the game and was unnecessary, so that's why I've been salty. I reeeeally try not to take things personally when I play these, but sometimes people make it so.

You’re 100% right, I was playing too far ahead and I said things I shouldn’t have said. And you have every right to be upset with me. That was a shitty move on my part both as an ally and a friend.

[Hope]

Also @Aurora can I give you permission or something to write in my FTC thread? Or if you can just confirm this here? But Mike genuinely did approach me with a plan to spilt off with him and you and Shamar, and pick off Sherri/Matt/Steph. I remember me and you Aurora were barely talking until Mike came up with this plan , and then we started talking more and I thought it was to almost solidify this weird alliance? I'm not sure. But Mike cannot sit there and blame that alliance on me because no offense Aurora but we were barely talking so I didn't have any intention to align with you at the time. So Mike can't sit there and say he was buddy buddy with Matt when he had this whole plan to pick them off that included me in it. And it didn't include anybody else.

[Alexis]

Just to clarify: I am not mad at anyone for voting for me. I expected it for a long time.

[Hope]

Also @Aurora can I give you permission or something to write in my FTC thread? Or if you can just confirm this here? But Mike genuinely did approach me with a plan to spilt off with him and you and Shamar, and pick off Sherri/Matt/Steph. I remember me and you Aurora were barely talking until Mike came up with this plan , and then we started talking more and I thought it was to almost solidify this weird alliance? I'm not sure. But Mike cannot sit there and blame that alliance on me because no offense Aurora but we were barely talking so I didn't have any intention to align with you at the time. So Mike can't sit there and say he was buddy buddy with Matt when he had this whole plan to pick them off that included me in it. And it didn't include anybody else.

And then I did tell Matt about this because I said hey Matt, Mike wants you out, and Mike said I lied to Matt about it like WHAT DAWG THAT ACTUALLY WENT DOWN THO

[Hope]

@Reynold like this post if you think matt/mike >>>>> derrick/cody #HITMEN #RANSHIT #MINDSOFMASTERMINDS